Welcome

Welcome to my blog,

First let me explain what this blog is all about. It's all about healing. From what you may ask. The answer is anything that might be hurting you. Whether it be depression, anorexia, problems at home or anything else that might be hurting you right now this blog is here to help. I've set up a forum for members of the community to chat about/ and discuss their problems in a safe environment. There’s also a Ask me page where you can talk to me directly.

Now you may be wondering how I can help. Well to explain that and why I'm doing this I must start off by telling you a little more about me.

I've suffered, although I'm not sure that's the best way to put it, from depression for about 7 years now. Till not too long ago I kept silent about what I was feeling because I didn't want to hurt my loved ones. I didn't want them to think that it was their fault or for them to think they should have seen it and done something. So for many years I remained silent going through the motions to the point where I would plaster a believable fake smile every time someone looked at me. When I entered high school was when my real crash began. Although I never took up cutting because a knife was never sharp enough for me to do it successfully I did end up doing something self-destructive. Something I'm now very glad only went on for a short time. I began burning. For me it was not only easier but it also let me get out the stress, anxiety and self-hatred that plagued my heart. Now please don’t take this as me saying that you should try it. You shouldn’t. In the long run it did not actually do any good. Now after I stopped that I just tried to keep myself together on my own without so much physical self-destruction. But I still didn’t ask for help because, like I have said, I didn’t want to hurt anyone with “my problems”. This led me to having upped levels of anxiety, stress and self-hatred. And along with that came the panic attacks and small silent break downs at night by myself. Eventually I while I was talking to a friend the subject came up and I found out he was like me and suffered from depression. The relief of having someone with problems and outlooks like mine was an immense relief and it led to me talking about maybe taking me to an appointment with a doctor so I could try and get better. Now at this point I had decided I wasn’t going to tell my mother anything until I had talked to a doctor and confirmed it wasn’t just me being a self-wallowing idiot. But fate had a different plan for me. That night we got in a fight about my mood which would sometimes become well very unpleasant. These where moods I couldn’t control and didn’t mean for. Anyway the fight leads to crying and I came out about it all. She told it was going to be ok and that we would get the help I needed to feel better. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Now I may still get really down but I don’t feel like I have to hide it like before when I’m around her. I’m on the path to recovery and it may be long but it is worth it.

I apologize for the long story I just very much want you to know that what you’re going through isn’t something you have to go through alone. There are others out there that can relate to your story and that you’ll connect with. That’s why I’m doing this I want to make community of people working together to mend the tears in their souls. Though some scars and memories may never go away the memories of getting through it all will remind you of your own strength and the love and support that can be in the world. So please feel free to ask me or others about anything you need to. People might just surprise you.  

I’ll be updating regularly on my progress and with tricks to help you kick what’s hurting you. I’ll also post regular inspirational things to help when your feeling really low.

Share your pain and share your support.

Wishing you a wonderful day,

Asher Constantine